Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Happiness - 1

In a few messages I'd like to share with you my highlights of a book i read recently: "Happiness" by Mathieu Ricard.


  • We take for permanent that which is ephemeral and for happiness that which is but a source of suffering:the desire for wealth, for power, for fame, and for nagging pleasures.
  • Living on a pendulum between hope and doubt, excitement and boredom, desire and weariness, it's easy to fritter away our lives, bit by bit, without even noticing, running all over the place and getting nowhere. Happiness is a state of inner fulfillment, not the gratification of inexhaustible desires for outward things."
  • Happiness is a skill, a manner of being, but skills must be learned.
  • Pleasure is exhausted by usage, like a candle consuming itself. Savoring a delicious meal is a source of genuine pleasure, but we are indifferent to it once we've had our fill and would get sick of it if we continued eating.
  • Pleasure is the happiness of the madmen, while happiness is the pleasure of sages.
  • A poet Robert Burns describes pleasure:
    But pleasures are like poppies spread,
    You seize the flower, its bloom is shed,
    Or like the snow falls in the river,
    A moment white - then melts forever.
  • Remaining painfully obsessed with a situation or the memory of a departed loved one, to the point of being paralyzed by grief for months or years, is evidence not of affection, but of an attachment that does no good to others or to oneself.
  • If we let ourselves be over whelmed by our personal problems, no matter how tragic, we only increase our difficulties and become a burden on those around us.If our mind becomes accustomed to dwelling solely on the pain that events or people inflict on it, one day the most trivial incident will cause it infinite sorrow. As intensity of the feeling grows with practice, everything that happens to us will eventually come to distress us, and peace will find no place within us.
  • If there is a cure, what good is discontent? If there is no cure, what goos is discontent?!!


Monday, May 5, 2008

The Beauty of Imperfection

"Ring the bells you still can ring
Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in."

- Lyric by Leonard Cohen

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How to WISELY shop for Happiness

A very interesting Interview with  a professor known as "Professor Happiness"

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/04/23/healthscience/22conv.php?page=1

Some of the interesting facts You'll know are:
  • bad things don't affect us as profoundly as we expect them to. That's true of good things, too.
  • As a species, we tend to be moderately happy with whatever we get. If you take a scale that goes from zero to 100, people, generally, report their happiness at about 75. We keep trying to get to 100. Sometimes, we get there. But we don't stay long.
  • most of us will return to our emotional baselines more quickly than we'd predict
  • Human relationships and experiences provide more happiness than any other thing.
  • The data says that with the poor, a little money can buy a lot of happiness. If you're rich, a lot of money can buy you a little more happiness


Along with the good things, a few little inconveniences always appear.

Just like marriage

Nasrudin spent the entire autumn working his garden. The flowers had blossomed in the spring - and Nasrudin noticed a few dandelions appearing, which he hadn't planted.

Nasrudin tore them up. But the pollen had already spread and others began to grow. He tried to find a weed killer which only killed dandelions. A specialist told him any type of poison would end up killing all the other flowers. In despair, he went to ask a gardener for help.

- It is like a marriage - said the gardener. - Along with the good things, a few little inconveniences always appear.

- What can I do? - insisted Nasrudin.

- Nothing. Although they are flowers you did not count on, they are still part of the garden.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Are you a nomophobe?


What is Nomophobia?

According to Wikipedia:

Nomophobia is the fear of being out of mobile phone contact. The term was coined during a study by YouGov, a UK-based research organization.The study found that nearly 53 percent of mobile phone users in Britain tend to anxious when they "lose their mobile phone, run out of battery or credit, or have no network coverage".The study found that about 58 percent of men and 48 percent of women suffer from the phobia, and an additional nine percent feel stressed when their mobile phones were off. The study sampled 2,163 people. 55 percent of those surveyed cited keeping in touch with friends or family as the main reason that they got anxious when they could not use their mobile phones.The study compared stress levels induced by the average case of nomophobia to be on-par with those of "wedding day jitters" and trips to the dentists. Ten percent of those questioned said they needed to be contactable at all times because of work.

More than one in two Nomophobes never switch off their cell phones.The study and subsequent coverage of the phobia have resulted in columns by those who minimize their mobile phone use or choose not to own one at all.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Be...and Let Be

Get to know your best friend.. your ally.. yourself!

Live this minute. Let what you do this minute be your life's purpose.. What God chose to expose you to "this minute" is the perfect experience.. don't wait for anything or anyone to provide you with "feeling" for your moment.
What is meant to come will come. Be the container for it to come. Be the space for it to happen. Be the space, don't live a "chase"!
Yours is the perfect situation... what will come, however good, is just the "icing" on your already perfect cake.

Feel the moment.. feel the moment... feel this moment.. spend time with yourself.. build firm roots in yourself.. You nourish yourself with the care, love and tenderness it deserves. Hold it- like you would a dear child-when in distress... smile at its shortcomings like you would a smile to a baby tripping while taking its first steps....Be firm with it as would a compassionate mother discipline her child..
Allow yourself to be... to feel..

Allow it to feel the perfection in Allah's creation... the perfection in the diversity. The perfection in every smile... in every success...The perfection in every mistake.. in every shortcoming.. in every weakness.. in every painful episode..

Nothing in this universe was not carefully calculated. Nothing in this universe is not in its perfect place. Every person, every habit, every trait, every fault, every perfection, every failure, every good deed, every sin, every moment of rejoice, every moment of regret...

What a miracle it is that lies within each one of us. What  miracle it is that lives in each flow of breath that I take, each bite of my nails, each scratch on my skin.. each blink of my eye!!

Let us just live the miracle!

Live what you are meant to live... Don't question... Relinquish the desire to to explain.. Relinquish the desire to find a reason.

If you fall into a  swamp get out... flap your wings. Let go of the past. Splash its waters off your feathers as a duck would dry itself, and return to the only point of reality.. NOW

Live the repentance..feel the forgiveness.. Let your look‏ ‏to the world be inside out ..don't look outside in..
"in" is one.."out" is too many..

As you look out, pay attention to the good. Disregard the negative..remember... Attention is food... so...feed only that which you wish to grow.. and what you don't feed will die..


Mahatma Ghandi is quoted as saying:‎"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world..as being able to remake ourselves!"

But the key to transformation is not to "be" something else. Stop your seeking and searching, for that sort of perfection is neurotic and impossible. Your real perfection is to relax into yourself-into being yourself completely; accepting your "flaws" and humanity exactly as they are.

Non-resistance
, non-judgment and non-attachment are the 3 aspects of true freedom and enlightened being.
Don't be tempted to try harder to be perfect, try harder to accept your imperfection!

People don't lose respect for you if they find out you're only human..chances are, they'll be relieved, and feel more able to relax in your company.

Think how simple your life would be if you eliminated the impossible things -the things that probably weren't meant to be anyway- and concentrated on doing what works.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Learn to be thankful



"In everyone's life,at some time, our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."[Albert Schweitzer]